Innocent nosiness – or a red flag of something more?
Bravo to all of the people who have been “outing” so many sexual predators lately! It’s about time they got their comeuppance. My heart goes out to their victims and I hope they get the justice they seek.
I have one little point that I wanted to add to the discussion. Twice in my life I have known people who, I came to find out many, many years later, were alleged to be sexual predators.
I say “alleged predators” only in the interest of my own honesty because I did not see anything overt myself. Strange as the two individuals were, and both were off-the-charts creepy, I have no direct personal story to tell. Neither one tried to take any liberties with me. I also did not see anything untoward happening to anyone else. To put it bluntly, if they were assaulting people, and I’m inclined to that they probably were, it was neither done to me or in front of me. If it had been, I’d have called the cops.
I knew one of them in the 1970s and the other in the 1990s. One was a female, the other a male. One allegedly targeted girls and young women, the other boys and young men. They did not know each other. Yet in one way their sick behavior was 100% identical.
Both of these monsters were intrusive to the infinite power. I have never met two more intrusive or rude people in my life. They gloried in sticking their noses into other people’s business. This seemed as natural to them as breathing was to the rest of us. They weren’t just prying; it was more like they each were downright interrogational. Arrested suspects on television crime dramas are grilled more gently than I used to see each one of those two kooks go after their acquaintances.
What did they seemed to concentrate on most? It was not just whatever was going on in everybody else’s business (though that too), but what constituted our values. What made us tick. The content of our characters, to paraphrase the great Dr. Martin Luther King.
I want to put this out there because I believe that kind of intrusiveness may very well be the red flag of a predator. It makes perfect sense that such scumbags would consistently try to zero in on the values of whoever they happened to find nearby, at work, at school, and at whatever venue where they happened to be prowling for a victim. Serial predators can’t function out in the open. They can only get what they want if they can assure the silence of their specially-selected victims, not to mention any potential eyewitnesses.
The man was very hung up on the fact that I was, he said derisively, “very, very principled.” He said it as if this was a bad thing, and for him, potentially it was.
I’m also a rather private person and was that way even as a teen. I know who I am. I know what I think and know how I feel. I just don’t see the point of always shouting my most personal thoughts from the rooftops.
The woman did not like that one bit. She kept insinuating that I wasn’t “forthcoming” enough, or words to that effect. Oh, really? Well, how much did she think was going on that a teenage girl should have had to be “forthcoming” about? Think about it. This was not someone to whom I owed any explanations. She set off alarm bells in me, though, which caused me to go even quieter around her, specifically. I figured, at age sixteen, that anybody who’s fishing that much for none-of-your-damned-business kinds of information is definitely after something, even though I wasn’t sure what was going on there.
Had I witnessed any direct untoward actions, for absolute certain, that either one of these flakes was committing, I’d have blown the whistle on them so fast they wouldn’t have known what hit them. I would have “gone all Jersey” on the one from New Jersey. I’d have called the police in a New York minute on the one in New York. And that, I believe, is what was at the crux of the many “values” questions they had about every single person with whom they came in regular contact: they wanted to weed out those of us who aren’t afraid to stand up and call the PoPo. To predators, the principled ones who aren’t afraid to dial 911 are quite dangerous. We’re the ones who might just stop them in their tracks.
So if you ever see something, say something – don’t be afraid to be “dangerous” to a predator! You might find yourself a hero to one of their victims.